+perspectives+

'safe from harm' - massive attack

was watching tv last night, as you do, and there was bugger all on.
so i started random channel hopping - yeah, i know i could have switched it off, but i needed a no brain, eye fodder evening.
anyway...
stumbled upon the last half of 'love actually'.
yes, it is a cheesy film, that deliberately tugs your heart (tear?) strings...but i love it.
have seen the movie twice before - both times at the cinema, but that's not really what i want to write about.

what struck me last night (after i'd got through half a box of tissues from crying at all the cheesiness....definitely NOT a film for lonely single people to watch; just up feeling crapper - notice how everyone kind of pairs up at the end? everyone finds love...bah humbug)

ANYWAY.

what struck me was how perspectives of the same thing change over time. of course, this isn't a ground-breaking thought, but watching the film last night really made it clear.

first time i watched the film, i was in singapore with my family. think i went with sister sin.
was hot, but christmas, and i was looking forward to going back to japan to see my man.
and the fact that he was going to pick me up from narita made it even more poignant.
had lovely images of us hooking up at narita airport in a love-actually like scene...

second time i saw the movie, was with above man.
the above man who overslept, didn't get to the bloody airport, and who asked me to get the train home instead.
so, a few months after singapore, i took him to see the film & show him why i was especially upset that he didn't pick me up. (yup, got to teach these boys the error of their ways...) and it worked - he spent the next few hours apologising & took me out for dinner.

and third time was last night. the man has become ex-boy, and i'm single.

but how have my perspectives changed...
well, when i watched the film the first two times, the story that got me most was the father-son one. and maybe the writer in portugal (it was portugal, wasn't it?)

this time, the one that really got me was the husband-wife one, with the joni mitchell cd thing.
and the singer & his fat bastard manager.

and, and the end of the film, i felt differently.
kind of semi-ranted above, in the film everyone gets together & kind of ends up with some form of love.
when i was a smug girlfriend, i finished watching the movie & thought, 'ah, isn't life wonderful and aren't people lovely'
this time, as a bridget-jones-with-better-underwear, i thought, 'fuckers. it's not that damn easy' and then stomped around the living room & had a cigarette.

yeah, perspectives have changed.

just as a little point of interest, in singapore, they edited the film & completely cut the story about the couple who met on the movie set as body doubles. think it was a bit too racy for singapore audiences.... (!!)

and, btw, despite all my ranting, i still love the damn film. even though it makes me stomp.
and if you haven't seen the film, then you probably didn't understand any of the above...watch it!
and if you have watched it, which story was your favourite?

・・rant of the day・・

'chasing cars' - snow patrol

so, i work in a pretty cool area.
and in a cool area there are cool people.
and cool people drive cool cars.

my range of 'cool' is pretty wide - and there are many cool cars.
i like beetles. i like minis (both old & new) i like seriously old retro cool cars (think 1960s nissans or big american cars)

but some cars are just NOT cool.
now, i understand if you're driving a car for practical reasons; ie it's all you can afford or you 6 children so you need a people carrier.

but some cars are *so* not cool.
for me, uncool means driving a 4WD in tokyo. these cars are designed for mountains & gravel & roughness. tokyo? not any of that.
wandering around the hood here, i often see hummers. WHY?! what the hell do you need a hummer for? the only reason is to look cool. well, they're not cool. they're gas guzzling giants. bad for the environment. bad for driving here (i mean, have you seen the size of the roads round here?) and just impractical giants.

but they're not the cars that annoy me most.

the ones that really annoy me are the really expensive cars (think porsche, ferrari or lamborghini)
again, these cars are totally impractical for tokyo. these cars are for speeding down the motorway to your summer cottage by the sea. or zooming to an important party you have in monte carlo, or some such nonsense...
they are NOT designed to sit at traffic lights.

but, yeah, i must admit that a little part of me finds these cars sexy.

but that's not really bothers me.
it's the nasty horrible evil colours you see them in.
i really don't understand why someone would shell out millions of yen (a quick look on the web puts a yellow 2003 porsche 911 at 7,770,000円, about 1,000,000円 more than a sensible white one.
AND THAT'S SECOND HAND!
somebody somewhere must have bought it new - but that's besides the point.

why on earth would you spend that much money on something that just looks trashy.

i have developed a number of theories on why people would choose to buy a really expensive car in F**K Off colours:

1. money does not equal to good taste (aka more money than sense...)
2. when they were thinking of colours, they thought, 'bugger it - if i am spending this much money on a car, i want to be noticed'
3. it was the only colour available (very much doubt this one)
4. the colour is the same as there company logo, or whatever
5. they're big believers in feng shui

now this is the bit where i completely contradict myself...

if the car were a VW beetle, then weird colours are OK.
in fact, i would encourage them. beetles are supposed to be in bright neo-like colours...

and here endeth today's rant...

...burblings: the return...

'thoughtforms' - lush

a while back, i blogged about my latest boy dilemma (don't know why i say 'latest'; it's been the same boy who keeps flitting about my world. . .)

anyway – j-ster wanted an update on what i had decided, so here it is (kind of...)

the honest answer is that i haven't really made any clear decisions about him & me. i have the willpower of a 2-year old and if he were to bat his pretty boy eyelashes at me, i'd lose whatever decisiveness i had previously had. so, i think it's better (for me) to not make any clear black & white decisions, because i'll just end up being disappointed in myself.

but, saying that, i am not going to lay myself open to be walked all over by him...not that he would do that, because he's a nice pretty boy.

but...

(be prepared to enter the slightly dark sin-world・・・）

lately, i have kind of given up.

i've lost hope that i'm going to find someone. my last few encounters with boys have been disastrous affairs that have ended up with me being hurt & still alone. i don't know if i can handle opening up to someone & then being stomped all over again. it's just easier to not go there in the first place.

on the other hand, because of this, i've realised that i've got to take better care of myself – especially my mental health. i cannot spend the rest of my life wallowing in self pity & slowly turning into some crazy old bitter woman with 25 cats, an overgrown garden & a brown knitted cardigan. i cannot go there. i don't want to be the old woman that all the kids are afraid of and call 'the witch', but there have been moments that i have envisioned myself becoming that woman.

or maybe i will...but i'll be the scary old woman with 25 cats, an effing huge stereo, purple hair & permanent party going on...

i digress...

so, i am trying to make a few changes in my world:

1. get out of the concrete jungle at least once a month
so far, so good; may & june = izu; july = nara; august = kamakura; and i've got enough airmiles to go to guam...

2. drink & smoke less.
no – i am not going to quit, but i am trying to it less or least in moderation.
i'm not getting totally wasted every week. still drink & smoke a lot, but less than i used too – haven't had tequila shots in over a month...

3. exercise more
am trying to get out on my bike more. last weekend i actually rode to blue corn by bike (took me 50 minutes one way...) nearly killed me, but i did it!!

i know they're not the most adventurous of changes, but i am trying...

hope that answers your question, j-ster ;)

=== EE-ZOO TOO ===

' waterfall' - stone roses'




here are some pictures from the izu trip.
this is a place called Nanadaru （七滝） which translates as seven waterfalls.
each waterfall has it's own name, from the unoriginal (big-fall) to the 'what?' (shrimp fall)
if you want to see more about Nanadaru, look here (in japanese) or here (in english)

it's also located near the weird bridge thing that looks like something out of a little boy's toy box.
must have been designed by a man....
have a look at sandi's blog for more photos....i'm so damn lazy with the camera...

=== EE-ZOO ===

'not so manic now' - dubstar

was going to write a long pictorial post about the trip to izu with sandi-family, but i managed to leave my camera in their car, so i am photo-less.
so, instead, you get 2 photos from my keitai (taken on the trip), which i messed around with.

twas a good trip - but very different than the girls' trip last month. used way more energy (mental & physical), had my patience tried, went on mini discovery trips, played various sports, had super mario competitions (i lost horribly), played scrabble, had a dinner date with a 7-year old and played connect four (which i won)

also managed to drink copious amounts of beer, watch mooney play & laugh lots.

yeah, it was a good weekend.

・・bored・・

'jealous control girls' - gossip

++ be warned - random rant below ++

am stuck at my desk, with a pc & my ipod.
am fighting the abyss of tiredness & general all round ennui...and because of that, i feel my evil mischievous side wishing it could come out to play.
but maybe it can? maybe I can play around with post-it notes in the office.

or maybe i can just do a few random things to confuse people?

or maybe i could just sneak down to the conbini, and buy a big can of beer, down it, then just slump at my desk in a tipsy haze?

nah, that would be unprofessional, that would. and you know me, the ultimate professional.

hmm...getting twitchy fingers. and an evil glint in my eye.
think i will just sit here chuckling evilly to myself.

just pity poor martine who i'm meeting for dinner later....who knows what kinds of evil i will have thought of by then....

now i've just had a worrying thought - why am i thinking evil things? why do i feel a grand urge to do mischief? is it some reflection on my dark character?

ah, bugger...who cares? evil thoughts are more fun than pink fluffy ones.

..porn funk..

'uskadar' - mustafa ozkent

the other week, i was on one of my regular musical foraging expeditions. and what is a musical foraging expedition, i hear you ask. well, it's where i go shopping in search of some music, but with no particular artist or albums in mind.
usually end up in tower records in shibuya - mainly because i'm lazy & can't be arsed to walk much further and it's got 6 floors of music (or is it 7 and there are loads of cheap(ish) imported magazines)

anyway, i went straight to the rock/pop floor (as you do) and wandered around approaching various listening posts with my ears.
and i was very uninspired.
couldn't find anything that slapped me round the face and said BUY ME!
nothing wowed my ears.

so, i thought i would try something different & went up to the world/jazz/blues floor.

wandered around that floor for a while, and found myself getting drawn to funk musicians.
now, i do like a little bit of funk in my life, but i am quite picky about it. there are *so* many types of funk (have a look here at what wikipedia has to say about it)
as i wandered around listening to the various funk musicians & types of funk, i was getting more and more confused.
and nothing was quite hitting the mark.
there is a specific type of funk i like, which i call porn funk. everytime i listen to it, i think of the 1970s and softcore porn with men with large sideburns. maybe called sven.
don't why i have that twisted image in my head - don't think i want to know.

ANYWAY - jazz funk wasn't really the right sound.
so i gave up and wandered off to the world section. i saw a turkish cd with an interesting cover (see the picture at top) and BOOM. TURKISH PORN FUNK!
and i am loving it. every time i listen to it, i am inspired to grow my hair, get bright pink fluffy cushions and wear shiny lycra (complete with matching head band)

also, as i was so impressed with mustafa's cd, bought the cd next to it on the listening post, by an artist called Selda (also turkish) she's some kind of turkish joan baez and was groundbreaking in her day (yeah, i can read liner notes) but that CD is also really too. kind of psychedelic folk rock with an eastern twang.

and how did they become to be promoted outside of their homeland? well, there's a record label that specialises in finding obscure music in obscure places - Finders Keepers Records
if you have a look on the website, you can listen to some mustafa & selda too.

go have a look. great stuff...see if you're inspired to be a 1970s porn star...

みんなでSWING!

'blue drag' - django reinhardt

went up to kita urawa (in a galaxy far FAR away) to go see some live music with sandi on sunday.
The event was called 'みんなでSWING', but there wasn't much swinging going on...although i have to admit that i think i was staggering by the end of the day - not quite the same thing, is it?

Anyway, it was a great day with lots of great musicians, many of whom i've seen before (mooney, sachiko, massy - amongst others) but it was great to see them somewhere new. was going to put my photos up, but i realised most of them are blurry - hmmm, i wonder why? an unsteady hand perhaps?! but sandi's pictures & video are way better - and see as i was sitting next to her all day, my photos aren't that different anyway. So go have a look at her blog - i especially like the random karaoke in the middle (just ignore the carpenters...that was NOT me, that was my evil karaoke singing twin...)

the other picture is another fuzzy one - man, were MY hands shaking that day - but i did have it on the highest zoom, so there is a bit of an excuse for the poor quality of this one...
there was this granny with her young granddaughter who were wrapped up in their own little world. the girl was blowing bubbles, and grandma was fanning them with her fan (there MUST be a better way of saying 'fanning with her fan' but i don't know how today - not enough functioning braincells left)
anyway - with my fascination with bubbles & my love of cheesy moments, this filled me up with joy & happiness. i was definitely glowing.

but on the other hand, it could have had something to do with the 4 beers i'd had previous to seeing them...

oh, yeah, and a massive coffee....