31 January, 2006

i'm back...but i'm not here

'saturday sun' - nick drake

i'm back.
i don't really have much to say tonight - just i am back.

i had a fabulous time, and it feels really weird being back here again.
i'm not jet lagged, but nothing feels real or right.

feel like i am in some kind of limbo - got to get back to my 'real' life, but on the other hand i don't want to let go of my summer feeling.
but i know it's going to fade, and all of those two weeks' worth of memories will get fainter & fainter.

i don't want that to happen.

bah humbug....i can't let things be damn simple can i?

i will write more about it all & post my photos....when i have energy.

finally - before i neglect them - i want to say a *huge* thank you to indigogirl & j-ster.
and the indigo & j families. thank you for letting me invade your lives - i really enjoyed it all.

14 January, 2006

the year's saddest day?

'take it or leave it' - the strokes

was reading a article in the telegraph today, and apparently 23rd January will be the saddest day of 2006.
supposedly it's all to do with SAD, starting work, debts from xmas and other random factors.

well, let me tell you, it is NOT the saddest day of 2006.
why? it's my bloody birthday, THAT's why!

can't believe out of all of the days in the year they have to choose my birthday.
and to add insult to injury, the psychologist who came up with the date works at the university i went to (cardiff)

so, bah humbug, to you, mr psychologist. i am going to make sure that 23rd January is going to be of the happiest of 2006.

so there.

10 January, 2006

moving forward, looking back

'ラストシーン' - asian kung-fu generation

the december/january period is always weird for me.
i get over the new year retrospective thing, then go directly into the birthday retrospective thing.
that's a long time for one girl to be looking back...not necessarily bad, but maybe not so good either.

feeling very odd today.
talked with ex-boy last night, and you know what?
it was nice.
in fact, it was very nice.
it's made me question whether or not going back might not be so bad.

i don't mean to say that these last few months have been a mistake, because they haven't been.
but maybe we needed some space & time to realise things - what we want, or what we've taken forgranted?

to be honest, i have NO idea.
what i am sure about, though, is that i am not going to rush into anything.
i am not going to go running back into his arms, expecting 'happily ever after'.
i'm going to take things slow and see where they go.

the first step is dinner next month. haven't seen him since the break up, so that'll be interesting.

but in the meantime, i have my journey to australia to see my lovely blonde friends.
that will definitely help me clear & cleanse myself, and be ready for this next stage - wherever it goes.