24 May, 2006

the only way is up!

elephant stone - stone roses

i've been told off by one dear reader for being far too negative here.
so, i am going to write something positive.

life is NOT all bad. far from it. in fact life is pretty good.
of course it could be better, but then again, if life couldn't be improved, then what's the point in living?
always need something to look forward to, or move on to or just something to improve on.

he-who-shall-not-be-named is still around, but i have decided to let things go.
why should i sit around moping? why should i blame him completely for everything?
it was partly my fault too. so, we'll be friends. friends that crossed an invisible bridge, but still friends all the same. he's a good guy - just misguided (after all, how can he choose someone over me?! hehehe...)

anyway - just wanted to let you know that things aren't as bad as they have previously seemed.

And i'm on holiday from next week, and i get to see volcanoes, castles, greenery, ocean and beach.
and best of all, i get to be a kid again and sit in the back of the car with my mum & dad.
and NOT have fights with sister sin.....(sorry, a, miss you, but don't miss the back seat armrest fights!!)

ah...kyushu here i come!

19 May, 2006


something i can never have - nine inch nails

well, yes, i have been silent for a while.
mainly because i have STILL not got round to calling the internet company.

now, i have no access at all....my own fault...

so, here i am, at my desk, pretending that i am working...well, it's friday afternoon - brain's in neutral.

the last few weeks have been a giant rolleroaster of emotions and disappointments.
mostly involving one person who shall remain nameless.
in a nutshell, we flirted, got closer, got VERY close, and then got even closer.
and i was happy.
the flirtation had been going on for a while - and while i wasn't expecting big things, i thought that maybe there was some big sparks that could be fanned.

and then it all came crashing down.
he-who-shall-not-be-named decided that he didn't really want me as much as he had previously professed. in fact, there was another 'one' there that he wanted more.
and i was cast aside & left adrift.

and so, once more, i have been disappointed by someone who i thought was better than that.

my man-radar is seriously screwed. think i need a new one.

but, yes, i am ok. i am just disappointed with him for not really knowing what he wanted.
and i am disappointed in myself for letting myself be opened & being hurt.

argh...thank god for good, sanity saving, friends and alcohol.

finally, on a much more positive note, mummy & daddy sin are arriving tomorrow (the parental sins?) and they are staying in japan for 2 whole weeks. Hurrah.
it will be nice to have some family around - haven't touched base with any of them for over a year now.
and we're going to kyushu too. yay! so need a trip outside of kanto.