07 May, 2007

..random burblings from a chaotic mind..

'vapour trail' - ride

i have a little dilemma - nothing major, but would like input/opinions/thoughts - whatever...

been sporadically seeing a boy, nothing serious, but lots of fun.
now, i know i like him more than he likes me.
also know that there is no future in it at all.
also know that i enjoy spending time with him.
know it's all going to end sometime.

so, should i carry on this way? i know what i'm like - while i am sporadically seeing him, i probably won't find anyone new.
also know that there's no hope, and have given up trying to expect anything from him.
and those are not very good things to carry on seeing someone for, are they?

but, on the other hand, i enjoy my sporadic times with him.
and that's worth something, isn't it? we enjoy each other and always seem to have a good time together.

so, what to do?

8 comments:

j-ster said...

ooooo, a tricky one, hmmmmm..........

Anonymous said...

Well

If you want my two-bobs worth. -don't give this relationship up! You enjoy each others company, you're not hanging off his every move and you both seem to understand the likely long term outcome. The relationship is built on friendship not any future expectation.

Eventually you will both move on to more 'permanent' relationships. But you will stay the type of friends that can call/rely on each other because you have had (maybe still have to a certain point) a special bond.

go for it!

J-Dad

MissSin said...

thanks, j-dad.

now, i've had one boy-opinion, what does everyone else think?

more opinions wanted, pretty please!

Anonymous said...

This indeed is a tricky one........Have you spoken to the boy about it???
Its very hard to give up something that makes you feel good,but also I guess one has to look at this situation and ask how well is it serving you ??? Does it affirm alot of negative stuff you feel about yourself,does it allow you to be completely you,are you strong enough to do the part time lover thing.........???
If I could make a suggestion??? It may be a good idea to sit down and write out what you really want in a relationship,make it detailed,put it out there to the universe that this is what you are looking for.Then work out ways that yo might meet this individual and start slowly working towards that. I feel perhaps that if you do this certain aspects of your life now will naturally fizzle because they dont support your core values........
From a personal point of view,I would find it hard to maintain this kind of relationship because I have an innate quality of getting TOO involved.....I think as long as you are clear and being TRULY honest with yourself ,you can do whatever you need to do here........does that help any???
Sarah
x

Sandi said...

Can be tricky, but as long as everyone is being honest, no one can be surprised. A booty-call can be a wonderful thing. ;) But, to paraphrase the commenter above, to thine ownself be true. If you can be happy with things as they are, don't give up the moments. But if you have to admit to yourself that you are eventually going to expect more despite what you are telling yourself now. I've been on the other side of this kind of thing, and usually some one ends up getting hurt, but they got over it eventually and everyone is friends again. But anyone else's experiences are utterly useless to you. You'll know what to do if you really understand yourself.

I'm sure that was as helpful as anyone else's. >;)

Awesome trip, by the way.

j-ster said...

Oh! You changed! Nice new skin!

"I know what im like - while i am sporadically seeing him i probably wont find anyone new"

I not entirely sure i agree with you on the probability of this one; i think you could find anyone new at pretty much any moment considering how random things are these days.

But...

If you know you are going to use him to avoid something real, well, that would be an easy groove to get into, a couple of years could go by really easily, but then you are still in the same position and you still have to make this decision.

So I say go for a solo walk on the wild side, now! Dont waste those years.

MissSin said...

thank you, all.

lots of things for me to ponder there...got to figure out first whether i am actually being honest with myself. know that sounds odd...but i have a tendency to make things seem better than they are - wear my rose-tinted glasses.
need to take them off & have a real look at what's going on....

j-ster said...

I guess it would be rude to ask what you decided to do, but i cant help being curious....