'jams run free' - sonic youth
welcome to 2007 - the year of the boar. i hope it's a good year for you all!
well, i've got the greetings out of the way.
i've also managed to survive xmas & the new year. just have to get through to my birthday then i'm done for another year.
i was hoping to start the year off feeling positive & full of hope.
and yeah, i did. and it lasted all of about 24 hours, then i crashed & burned in a great big ball of crushed fire & dreams.
actually, before i write anymore, i should tell you that this is NOT going to be a positive post.
so, if you don't want to read anymore, please stop now.
if you do read all the way through, please leave a comment. this space is my way of reaching out, and lately it feels like i shouting into some empty abyss with no one hearing my screams.
fuck - am sounding v. melodramtic here. ah, well, it's MY blog, and i can do whatever the hell i like here. and if i do want to be little miss pathetic, then i will.
so, yeah...my holiday season.
xmas day didn't start well. i woke up on the day with no xmas presents, feeling very sorry for myself, then proceeded to sit & cry for an hour. (martine - thank you for being there, you helped ground me that day)
did manage to get out and about, and the day ended WAY better than it began, by watching mooney, sachiko & katz in jiyugaoka. they did some lovely xmas numbers, and i felt a lot better once i got home.
between xmas and new years', i went to watch the new 007. man, was THAT good!
also went to blue corn for the Buzz Buzz Year End Party - which was lots of fun.
and went to bc again for their last night of the year (30th)
then came new year's eve. started off well....spent a lovely evening & day with a lovely boy. spent the whole time smiling.
should have known it was too good to be true. seems that all men-boys want to be my 'friend'.
what the fuck?!
what is so flawed with me that they don't want me as a partner/date/GF/whatever?
AND why so they tell me AFTER the fact? why do i get all my hopes up only to have them crushed?
it's all just served to really sabotage my self-confidence & hope.
and with the events of xmas day & new years' day behind me, i am beginning to dread my birthday. to be honest, i am thinking of cancelling it this year. i really can't face any more disappointment of hurt.
there's only so much one girl can take.