13 November, 2008

★ limboland ★

Long distance relationships are weird.
I have never been in one before, and i must say that they aren't the greatest way of having a relationship (unsurprisingly).

The German and i are managing to keep in touch pretty much everyday via email & phone, so i don't feel too far way from him.
Of course i miss him - especially as we were living together & now there's big empty German-shaped space in my flat. But i know I'm going to see him soon.

I do, however, feel in limbo. I have mentally made the commitment to move to Germany next year. I have been telling people that i 'plan' to move to Germany. But i haven't graduated to saying i 'will' yet. And that leaves me with a feeling of limbo-ness.
Physically I'm still here. Mentally I'm moving.

So why don't i just say it? Why don't i just shout out 'I'M MOVING TO GERMANY!!!!!'?
Good question...

But i have a few lame reasons why:
1. I don't know when i will move; i want to get my TB treatment over and done with first
2. I'm scared that if i tell everyone, then it won't happen (and end up looking like a fool)
3. It scares me shitless to move to country where a) i have never lived, and b) i don't speak the language
4. It scares me that i am about to make a huge leap of faith, and leave behind a country that has been my home for 17 years (yes, that is right...seventeen)

Hmmm....looking at my lame list, it appears i may be a tad scared about the move...

Well, let me put it here in a big shout:

I AM MOVING TO GERMANY NEXT YEAR.
I AM GOING TO MAKE A HUGE LEAP OF FAITH TO FOLLOW THE GERMAN HALF WAY ROUND THE WORLD.
AND I AM GOING TO MAKE DAMN SURE IT ALL WORKS OUT AND WE LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

so there.




(PS My TB meds are still working fine, in case you were wondering)


5 comments:

Sandi said...

Apart from the leap of faith for a boy thing, you know, most of us who lived in Japan had a similar feeling before we moved there. So stop crying orange tears and start taking German lessons, this is very exciting! Your upcoming trip sounds fun. I for one am thrilled you are moving to Germany, so we can out that on our itinerary when we take the kids to Europe to visit Uncle Scott in Belgium.

j-ster said...

Good on ya girl, glad the meds are working and that you are feeling better.Go make that huge leap of faith, and remember that where you jumped from does not cease to exist, despite the fact that you are no longer there. You can always go back.

Ive just started dating a 54yo guy. That took a bit of a leap of faith.... Its been very good so far tho....

arumanda said...

you've done it before. you can do it again. you can do anything.

お大事にね

MissSin said...

Ladies, thank you.
And j-ster, I want to hear more!!!

j-ster said...

More you say? Well, its still going well, i really like him. He has a pretty diverse background, but these days he has his own archaeology business (cultural heritage consultant), roaming around outback, taking people to heritage sites and clearing areas that mining or pastoral companies want to use. Hes a bit of an academic and a bit of a bushie. Hes away out bush a fair bit, but when hes back he likes going to the pub and seeing live bands, so we've been having lots of fun! I think Sarah will like him when she meets him in the holidays...