30 September, 2008

Consumptive Diaries Part 23: Dazed & Tired

Went to the hospital this morning to see how my body has reacted to the combination of TB meds & liver pills.

And the news is not good.
From around 120 last time, my liver number has jumped to 228.
(The number is the ALP number - for some really exciting medical information about ALP tests, look here)

As a result, i am officially off TB medication. The doctor wants to see if my liver will go back to normal. So, I'll go back in 3 weeks, and then he'll discuss other ways (if any) of treating the TB bacteria.

And how do i feel about this?
Shocked - i really wasn't expecting my liver to get worse; especially as I've been trying to take better care of myself.
Scared - I don't know what's going to happen next; is my liver OK? Will there be another way of treating the TB or do i have to carry it around with me forever?
Disheartened - there doesn't seem to an end in sight for this saga; thought that the end of January would be the end of everything. F**K knows when it is going to end.
Angry - WHY ME?
Tired - I am so tired of all this.
Overwhelmed - All i want to do today is go home, curl up in a ball & pull the blankets over my head and cry.

Today is not a good day.

1 comment:

Sandi said...

Oh, honey. That sucks. But it'll be OK, somehow, I know it. Big hugs and kisses...