14 November, 2007

The X Dilemma

sebastian tellier - 'la ritournelle'


I want to write about a dilemma that i was having, which resolved itself in an unexpected way...

Since x-boy and i broke up, just over 2 years ago, we've managed to maintain a kind of friendship. despite our relationship, at the time, being severely flawed & definitely unhealthy, we did (and still do) care for each other.
So, since the break up, we have kept in touch by email & met up for lunch once or twice a year.

But i digress...

As I've kind of mentioned in previous posts, k & i got together just over a month ago & have been blissfully floating around in cheeseland. And, yeah, it is real.

So, this led to my dilemma. What is the ex-etiquette?
If you are on friendly terms with your ex, should you tell them about your new love? Or do you just ignore it & hope that something works out naturally?
I really wasn't sure which was the best approach, so i did nothing (which is i guess is the 2nd approach...but hey...)

And then technology stepped in.
I'm a facebooker. I've been updating my status. Friends have been adding photos of K & me.
I conveniently forgot that X-Boy is one of my FB friends...

So, yeah, he got all the updates & saw all the photos...

Then emailed me.

But it was all cool. He wished me well & said that K looked like a good guy (he is) & that we made a good cute couple...which for some reason made me feel safe & happy.

So, by avoiding the issue, i inadvertently confronted it head-on.

But now i am curious, how have other people dealt with friendly exes? And how have friendly exes reacted? Would love to hear your experiences...

2 comments:

Martine said...

well, it's been a long but generally speaking, I tell them - usually by email or phone, or over a beer, and they are usually happy for me. The guys, however, usually never tell me and I find out through some random happenstance. Interesting, huh.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, that is indeed interesting, and pretty true of my experience too now that you mention it. If we are still on talking terms then I tell them.