14 November, 2007

The X Dilemma

sebastian tellier - 'la ritournelle'

I want to write about a dilemma that i was having, which resolved itself in an unexpected way...

Since x-boy and i broke up, just over 2 years ago, we've managed to maintain a kind of friendship. despite our relationship, at the time, being severely flawed & definitely unhealthy, we did (and still do) care for each other.
So, since the break up, we have kept in touch by email & met up for lunch once or twice a year.

But i digress...

As I've kind of mentioned in previous posts, k & i got together just over a month ago & have been blissfully floating around in cheeseland. And, yeah, it is real.

So, this led to my dilemma. What is the ex-etiquette?
If you are on friendly terms with your ex, should you tell them about your new love? Or do you just ignore it & hope that something works out naturally?
I really wasn't sure which was the best approach, so i did nothing (which is i guess is the 2nd approach...but hey...)

And then technology stepped in.
I'm a facebooker. I've been updating my status. Friends have been adding photos of K & me.
I conveniently forgot that X-Boy is one of my FB friends...

So, yeah, he got all the updates & saw all the photos...

Then emailed me.

But it was all cool. He wished me well & said that K looked like a good guy (he is) & that we made a good cute couple...which for some reason made me feel safe & happy.

So, by avoiding the issue, i inadvertently confronted it head-on.

But now i am curious, how have other people dealt with friendly exes? And how have friendly exes reacted? Would love to hear your experiences...


Martine said...

well, it's been a long but generally speaking, I tell them - usually by email or phone, or over a beer, and they are usually happy for me. The guys, however, usually never tell me and I find out through some random happenstance. Interesting, huh.

j-ster said...

Hmmm, that is indeed interesting, and pretty true of my experience too now that you mention it. If we are still on talking terms then I tell them.