::耳::2::

‘girl with the sun in her head’ – orbital

so, after yesterday’s frustrating a highly annoying episode with this damn computer – I am going to try again to explain the events of my birthday…I so hate having to write the same thing twice – always think the first thing I wrote was better…
but seeing as I had a moment of extreme rage yesterday, I have completely forgotten what I wrote!!

So, before I go off on a complete rant, let me tell you about the events of this week…

My actual birthday was Tuesday (23rd) but that evening I had to come down here (shizuoka) to work for 3 days. So I already knew that my birthday night would be a non-event.
On Monday evening, birthday eve, I came home from work, and decided that if I couldn’t celebrate my real birthday, then I would sit a drink champagne on my pre-birthday.
So, there I was a little while later, half drunk with an empty champagne bottle.
And in the beginning stages of sever melancholy…warning to all you young folk out there – drinking alone is not good for you!!
Anyway – I refused to let myself get all sad on my birthday, but I knew it was going to be hard to pull myself off the slippery melancholy slope by myself. So, I had a little think and suddenly I had an epiphany – “BLUE CORN!!”
Called up a friend, and got to blue corn around 11pm.
Everyone there knew when my birthday was (I’m a strong believer in ‘If you want your birthday celebrated, then tell as many people as possible’)
I digress…

ANYWAY – just before midnight, takeshi hooked up the talking clock to the stereo speakers and I had my birthday counted in! then we had tequila shots, and a friend bought me cake, and then everyone sang happy birthday to me. It was a totally spontaneous birthday party & very lovely! Stayed there till around 2am, came home & even managed to get up in time to go to the office next day (well, ok, if I completely honest, I was about 15 minutes late – but in my book that’s pretty much on time!!)

On my actual bday, I had a lovely lunch with the people I work with. Then spent the afternoon trying to stay awake…
So yeah – considering I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, it turned into a very nice day. AND 2 of the nicest things were that the sun shone all day & I got texts & emails from people all over the place. Thank you!

And then tomorrow night is the ‘official’ bday party at blue corn.
If you are reading this, and I haven’t sent you any information about it, consider yourself invited. I’ve been totally crap about letting people know about it. Am starting around 6.30pm…hope to see you there!!

::耳::

REALLY pissed off with damn computer!
just spent 20 minutes writing about my birthday - and it frigging lost it all.

i am going to go away, cool down and come back again tomorrow & write about it.
right now, i just want to hurl the damn thing through the window!!!!!!!!!

F**CKER!!!!!

'it's because...we've got hair' - tunng

so here it is - my 'dramatic' change...
yup, i am now a brunette. never been one before, despite numerous colour changes...and i am quite happy with the results.

had a variety of comments from friends so far...
'ooo, you look more punkish'
'you look like an elf - you just need pointy ears'
'have you consdiered going even darker - maybe black?'
'your face looks smaller' (not sure whether that's a good thing or not...)
'have you done something to your hair?' (yeah, that was a bloke comment....)

so, what do you think? blonde or brunette? which do you prefer?

no music, no ・・・？

'blonde' - the wedding present

was inspired by martine to show & tell what i've been listening to lately.
some of it is new...some of it not, but it all makes my ears tingle & staves off the city madness.

am going for a big image change tomorrow...hopefully it won't be too traumatic but a little dramatic....
will post about it next week (if all goes well...)


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Next Animal!

'i'll hit the breaks' - yppah

so, after all comments & support from friends, i decided that wallowing in self-pity is NOT a good idea.
can't promise that i'm going to 'up' all the time - if i were up all the time, then i think i would be a freak of nature.
but being sad takes too much energy.
i've been constantly tired & unmotivated & uninspired.
and those are all heavy things to carry around.
too much for me.
so, after having a very drunken evening (and this is 'very' in misssin standards - so in other worlds, paralytic might be a better description...) i decided to try & be more positive.

SO, in on the road to a more positive, stronger me, i went out on Sunday to the zoo.
went with some friends, including sandi & family. had a great morning/afternoon there.
my personal favourites were the penguins. love the contrast between their walking (waddly) and their swimming (graceful).
also, the tiger was looking pretty impressive - was basking in the sunshine & looking very stripy...

after that, the davis clan & i went along to ikea.
wasn't planning to buy anything - just wanted a look-see....￥7000 later...
did get adopted by maxx though - he's decided that i am to be his sister. cool - never had a brother before.
man - was ikea big! and MAN was it crowded. think the whole planet AND THEIR KIDS had decided they wanted to buy cheap swedish furniture.
luckily, swedish beer was on sale (only ￥200) so that took the edge off!!

and then sandi and me finished off the evening/day at blue corn & had several silly conversations...
one of which involved me trying to convince sandi that zz top is jewish. don't ask...

..2007..

'jams run free' - sonic youth

welcome to 2007 - the year of the boar. i hope it's a good year for you all!

well, i've got the greetings out of the way.
i've also managed to survive xmas & the new year. just have to get through to my birthday then i'm done for another year.

i was hoping to start the year off feeling positive & full of hope.
and yeah, i did. and it lasted all of about 24 hours, then i crashed & burned in a great big ball of crushed fire & dreams.

actually, before i write anymore, i should tell you that this is NOT going to be a positive post.
so, if you don't want to read anymore, please stop now.
if you do read all the way through, please leave a comment. this space is my way of reaching out, and lately it feels like i shouting into some empty abyss with no one hearing my screams.

fuck - am sounding v. melodramtic here. ah, well, it's MY blog, and i can do whatever the hell i like here. and if i do want to be little miss pathetic, then i will.

so, yeah...my holiday season.
xmas day didn't start well. i woke up on the day with no xmas presents, feeling very sorry for myself, then proceeded to sit & cry for an hour. (martine - thank you for being there, you helped ground me that day)
did manage to get out and about, and the day ended WAY better than it began, by watching mooney, sachiko & katz in jiyugaoka. they did some lovely xmas numbers, and i felt a lot better once i got home.

between xmas and new years', i went to watch the new 007. man, was THAT good!
also went to blue corn for the Buzz Buzz Year End Party - which was lots of fun.
and went to bc again for their last night of the year (30th)

then came new year's eve. started off well....spent a lovely evening & day with a lovely boy. spent the whole time smiling.
should have known it was too good to be true. seems that all men-boys want to be my 'friend'.
what the fuck?!
what is so flawed with me that they don't want me as a partner/date/GF/whatever?
AND why so they tell me AFTER the fact? why do i get all my hopes up only to have them crushed?

it's all just served to really sabotage my self-confidence & hope.

and with the events of xmas day & new years' day behind me, i am beginning to dread my birthday. to be honest, i am thinking of cancelling it this year. i really can't face any more disappointment of hurt.

there's only so much one girl can take.