19 May, 2006


something i can never have - nine inch nails

well, yes, i have been silent for a while.
mainly because i have STILL not got round to calling the internet company.

now, i have no access at all....my own fault...

so, here i am, at my desk, pretending that i am working...well, it's friday afternoon - brain's in neutral.

the last few weeks have been a giant rolleroaster of emotions and disappointments.
mostly involving one person who shall remain nameless.
in a nutshell, we flirted, got closer, got VERY close, and then got even closer.
and i was happy.
the flirtation had been going on for a while - and while i wasn't expecting big things, i thought that maybe there was some big sparks that could be fanned.

and then it all came crashing down.
he-who-shall-not-be-named decided that he didn't really want me as much as he had previously professed. in fact, there was another 'one' there that he wanted more.
and i was cast aside & left adrift.

and so, once more, i have been disappointed by someone who i thought was better than that.

my man-radar is seriously screwed. think i need a new one.

but, yes, i am ok. i am just disappointed with him for not really knowing what he wanted.
and i am disappointed in myself for letting myself be opened & being hurt.

argh...thank god for good, sanity saving, friends and alcohol.

finally, on a much more positive note, mummy & daddy sin are arriving tomorrow (the parental sins?) and they are staying in japan for 2 whole weeks. Hurrah.
it will be nice to have some family around - haven't touched base with any of them for over a year now.
and we're going to kyushu too. yay! so need a trip outside of kanto.


arumanda said...

lubry. family always help make you feel a little better. and getting away from your regular routine will also be a shining light. kyushu is lots of fun. if you have time to get down to nagasaki, i recommend it.

disappointment - well, i think you probably shouldn't be disappointed in opening up yourself to being hurt. that's the only way that we can fully enjoy an experience, by opening our hearts - and that's never a bad thing - despite the outcomes hurting at the time. hurt fades. good memories don't.

ganbare little sin.

tanabata said...

Hang in there! Have a great time in Kyushu and with the folks. After the parental visit, let me know if you're up for some retail therapy!! :)

Indigorayz said...

ah,bugger............it is such a let down and amazing how quickly we build up dreams and plans around a certain someone only to find out that we have to deconstruct them and lay foundatons elsewhere........It does mean that when you start the whole building process again that you may take out a little insurance so that the deconstructing isnt so expensive.Then again you might not.Who knows.What I do know is that Mr.someody is out there for Miss Sin and you will be extremely happy........just enjoy int he meantime and lean on those good friends of yours! Hello to Mama and Papa Sin too! XXXXXXXX

MissSin said...

thank you very much, ladies!

appreciate all your support & kind words.

tanabata - i am ALWAYS up for some retail therapy! will get in touch once i am back....