..and she dances on the sand..

'rio' - duran duran

went to summer sonic on saturday. had a bit of a disasterous start to the day - and ended up missing most of everything ... particularly angry at missing interpol. really wanted to see them...

still, managed to catch 2 acts there...
first saw ian brown. what a load of pants.
the musicians were great - but him?
out of tune & dancing like liam gallagher on one of his bad days...
it was quite sad to see, especially as i was a big stone roses fan back in the day.

sad how some people can crash down from the heights...

so ended up walking out on him and stumbling along to duran duran.
wow!
never was a huge duran-y, but wow! (did i already say that?!)
man - simon le bon is a bit of an over-performer, but very fun & (dare i say it?) sexy to watch.
have to admit that some of the new stuff was a bit beyond me, but the old classics made up for the rest.
to be honest, i did get a little excited when i heard the camera shutter clicking during the intro of 'girls on film'...


is that just a tad too sad or what?

looking backwards & forwards

disintegration' - the cure

decided something i can do for my blog, to make it a tad more interesting...
everyday a new picture & a new song....with the song showing where i am today.
yeah - today's not a good day...hence the cure.

was riding back home on the train today & was having huge retrospectives on my life here.
passed the station i first lived at - way back in high school.
lots of memories there. that got me thinking about all the people i have known here. then i started thinking about the people i know now.

some are going to leave soon, and that's sad.
but i know we will keep in touch - even if it is sporadically. and then there's the people who are still here, and will be for long time - like me, i think (can't see myself leaving for some reason - why? but that's a whole other bowl of worms for some other day)

and then i started taking a closer look at my life.
not a good thing to do on a monday, but it's something that i have been doing a lot of in the last few weeks.
some big changes need to be made in my world, and i am not sure whether i am strong enough to make them - or if i even want to make them. but the one thing i know is that things can't remain as they have been....and that's scary thing.

i guess i am kind of lazy with life - i kind of let things happen, instead of make them happen. don't know whether that's a bad thing or not - but that's how i have got to where i am now.
but right now, i can't. i need to make that move.

i know i am being really vague about things, but it's really hard to vocalise everything. can't seem to find the words to explain things to myself let alone anyone else.

fiveteen

went down to shizuoka to visit my friends, the smiths. had a wonderful WONDERFUL time (thank you very muchly, mr & mrs s.)
hadn't seen them for a long time & i was in dire need of an escape from here.
and timing (for once) actually worked out, got myself organised and off i went.

didn't do a lot of exciting activities, mainly hanging out & reconnecting (very worthwhile activities though)
did go to the shizuoka prefectural art museum which has a large rodin exhibit.
the gates of hell were a pretty scary thing to look at - all these screaming faces (including babies) crying to be let out. and then at the top of the gate, the thinker is looking down on them & contemplating it all. didn't know that the thinker was part of a larger piece....but i know now!

most of the time was spent in the company of smith jr. lovely, funny & interesting boy....
i am not used to hanging around little ones, but i had so much fun watching junior run around & do things that made total sense to him, but to no one else.
there truly is a whole different world going on in the mind of a 2 year old.
but it was so interesting to see - and if i am to be totally honest, it made me think 'oh - wouldn't mind one of my own'... which made me kind of panic and push that thought away to back of my head.

really need to get my life sorted out before i embark on thinking about kids.

yeah - things in my world are a little bit topsy-turvy & confused right now.
can't really explain it, because i don't really know myself and that's difficult.

i will muddle through - don't know where things are going but i am going to find a way.