16 February, 2009



Am going to have a little whinge today, so please bear with me...

A while ago, i wrote about my upset hormones/periods.
Would like to say that things have got better, and in some ways they have.
My body seems to have got more regular & the cramps aren't so bad.
I have been taking a well-woman supplement for the last two months, so maybe that's helping.

Am still have some horrible-ness though. My mood swings are really really terrible.
Right now, i'm in a really awful down-cycle. I keep tearing up at the tiniest thing & can't really handle talking to people without wanting to either a) kill them, b) hug them or c) cry on them. As a result, i am pulling back into my shell & avoiding people.
I'm also feeling really lonely, and don't know who/where to turn to.

Added to this, my skin is really screwed up. I have acne all over my forehead & it's spreading down my face. Not only that, it's itchy (yet another drug side-effect). As you may imagine, my already weakened self-esteem is not handling this very well. I am avoiding mirrors, feel ugly & don't really want to go out.

Add into all this a far-away boyfriend, an absence of close friends nearby, an empty valentine's weekend and you get a bit of a wreck.

The logical part of me is trying REALLY hard to rationalise everything; "It's just hormones, it's not real". But i really feel like i am 15 again. Know i'm being stupidly paranoid, but i have no frigging idea of how to get out of this.
Even as i am writing this now, i have tears in my eyes. How bloody pathetic is that?!

But, i need to stay positive. I have one more week of meds. I have my last hospital visit tomorrow. Hopefully my life (and hormones) will get back to normal.

1 comment:

Sandi said...

Oh, honey, I wouldn't mind if you hugged and/or cried on me (let's leave the killing out of it). If you don't want to see people, don't. Spend this down time being extra-nice to yourself. Go get a massage/haircut/pedicure, watch a bunch of chick-flicks, and wait it out. Because it is only temporary. I love you! Even if I'm not Chinese...

PS, my captcha word for posting verification is "reerize," which is obviously Japanese for an awakening of some sort...