05 December, 2005

...electric blanket...

'take me!' - the wedding present

man - it's getting cold! had to bring out my electric blanket. not as good as having a warm man, but then again, my electric blanket doesn't have cold feet & bad breathe....

still enjoying the flirting, but still equally confused by it all. know i shouldn't think about it all too much, but part of me wonders 'what is the point?'
i mean, i enjoy it and all, but then i start getting a bit paranoid & start thinking that i may be leading men on.

and then i get even MORE paranoid, and imagine myself 20 or 30 years down the road, and there i am, the old hag at the end of the bar, trying to hopelessly flirt with boys half my age, and i really am just some old sad tart.

but then the other half of me thinks, 'you silly silly girl - stop it!!'
and so i have another drink, and keep on flirting!

but please, if i ever seem too desperate, and i'm heading down the 'old tart road', tell me stop.
i'm afraid that i might cross that invisible line - not flirting because i enjoy it, but because of desperation...

1 comment:

Chwarae Teg said...

Don't deny the characteristics of your sexuality. if you want to flirt,,,,,,,,then flirt. But never deceive, not yourself or others. You might end up as the sad hag,,, you might not. It is better to try and fail then never to have tried at all. Or something like that.